Dolla Billz

Things that you need to know about my life when people stop you on the street and ask you:

1. I've recently been hired on as an ANNUAL employee at the Rep! Which means I'll be working there all summer and not on some weird hiatus. They're doing this because I'm going to start work as a Group Sales Agent. Like Father like Daughter? Always be closing. Mo' money, mo' problems. I hope there won't be more problems but there will most definitely be more traveling! Holler.

2. So that means that I can't work at the Children's Theatre over the summer. But they're being cool about it. Hopefully I can teach a class or two in the fall and keep my Sesame Street cred.

3. I'm going with a car packed full of girls to the OLYMPICS this weekend! It is going to be awesome. Like legit awesome. I'm gonna be hanging out with people from all over the world and wearing a stupid hat. Don't worry--I'll post photos. But seriously, like why not go? It's only 2 hours away. And it's probably warmer there than it is here. Decision made.

4. I'm going home to Indiana in March and I'm SO EXCITED! Kyle's wedding and Caitlin's Bridal Shower. It's going to be a rock 'em sock 'em weekend and I can't wait.

That's it for now. But here, enjoy this picture of my co-workers and I staging a photo in my boss's office while she was out sick:

5. Also, go see Shutter Island. It's so freakin good.

Hawaii

I was a hula baby for 6 days and 5 nights. Here's what I did on my vacay of AWESOME.

Sat--Leave for the airport at 5:30am and eat at chili's too while we wait for our 8am flight. Land in Honolulu at noon. Robert's Hawaii shuttle to Aqua Continental Surf Hotel of DOOM. Hotel room is sketchy to the max--twin beds, smoke smelling bathroom, I was allergic to something, but at least the view was awesome. case in point:

So then we headed straight to food at the Red Lion where they had fish bowl happy hour drinks and fish sandwiches. Done. Then we headed to the beach and watched a glorious sunset. Shopped for a bit, bought an obligatory kukui necklace and generally took in the atmosphere. Someone gave us a coupon for a $11.95 surf and turf dinner so we hit that up. The place was wonderfully tacky and had good Blue Hawaiis. We were zonked so we went home and slept.

Sun-woke up early to take a bus to Diamond Head to watch the sunrise. Bus driver convinced us we were on the wrong bus. Got off, called dad to discuss the science of where the sun will be rising this close to the equator, gave up and watched the sunrise at the canal. Went straight to Waikiki Beach. Only people for miles. Ate fruit bars and laid around for 7 hours. Pure heaven. Ate at Dukes in the Outrigger Waikiki and had Hula Pie. I fed my 13 year old self's craving and it was just as good as I remembered. Then we took a bus (correctly!!!) to downtown Honolulu to see the Shanghai Circus at the Hawaiian Theatre. Little did we remember that Monday was MLK Jr day so everything was closed and basically deserted so there was very little to see. But we ate at the most amazing French restaurant. I mean, I've never eaten food like this. I went all the way to Hawaii to eat good French food. Go figure. And yes, feel free to put brie on everything you ever cook me. Then we went to the theatre and laughed at how terribly...well...asian the show was. Horrible chinese restaurant music and oohs and ahhs from a blue haired crowd. But some of the acrobatics were impressive and the tickets were cheap--so A plus. Back to the hotel to pass out.

Mon--Picked up at 7:45 am to go to Kualoa Ranch. A day set up of tours of the ranch. Stupid holiday meant we couldn't go on a boat and that we were one of like 5 people to opt for the full day package. They also kept splitting us up into english and japanese speaking people. Go figure. First up was the jungle expedition. Barry led us on a rough and tumble ride through the jungle in a big jeep type van. Kind of like the Jungle Cruise with bad jokes but actually a bit terrifying. At a weird berry. Climbed part of a mountain in a denim skirt and flippy floppies. Then we took Hula lessons. These hips were made for it. Next up was a buffet lunch. Since it was included with the price we both ate two plates. Steve Abba's daughter right here. Then we were the only people to go on the gardens and fruit tour (or it was called something like that). So we got to see the dock from Lost and asked lots of questions. Our tour guide was this little awkward girl but she loved us. Then we finally (!!!) got to go on the movie set tour. Did I mention that it was AMAZING! LOST! JURASSIC PARK! So good. We went to the valley where they pretty much tape everything that is show in Hawaii while we asked the tour guide how we can get jobs at the ranch. I'd do it. It's beautiful there and I could get my big break. And until then I'd be in HAWAII so it'd be awesome.

Napped on the bus ride back. Then we ran into Chez, who was the equivalent of Tony Vegas, trying to get us to pay him to go on this bar crawl. Lesson learned we turned him down. Good for us. We ate some Mexican food--but it was way to expensive so we left about 15 mins after we got there. Then we headed to the Shore Bird where they have nightly karaoke. We sang Fergalicious and were told to keep it clean because we said the "s" word. Sir, it's in the song. Not my fault. Then I explained the song Don't Take the Girl to Jessica and started balling in the bar while I drank another mai tai. It's just such a sad song. Then we sand Huey Lewis' Heart of Rock and Roll and totally killed it. After that we decided to leave because this 50 something guy named Kevin was dancing with 3 generations of lady relatives and it was getting gross. Grandma hit the floor and it was hilarious. Norah Jones swept us into slumber and so ended another wonderful day.

More in the next post...

Hawaii Part Two

Tue-We let ourselves sleep in. Lazily got up, showered and made our way to the water. Asked about getting on the wrong catamaran but eventually found the right one. The crew loved us. Anderson Cooper may or may not have been the driver. I was okay with that. Mai Tais for $3 were awesome and we just chilled on a boat for an hour and a half. The sun was beaming, the people were friendly and we tried to dolphin watch. Probably the best part of the trip.

Then we got picked up by a van and taken to the docks (sounds shady when I say it like that) to go parasailing. There were mo effing humpback whales jumping in the water below us! It was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was kind of exhilarating being able to catch it. The suckers are huge and it was always for just a brief glimpse of them. Very awesome. When Jessica and I were in the air the majority of the time we spent screaming our heads off. She was in front of me instead of behind me which was weird. The wind kept shifting making it feel like the balloon was going to deflate and fall. Science will say it won't happen but it certainly felt like it. Then the boat guys dipped us in the water and when we started screaming they dragged us backwards getting us entirely soaked. It was scary as hell but I'll never forget it. And did I mention that this same company did parasailing for NSYNC? Because they did.

Then we had one more thing planned for the day: Germaine's Luau. They asked all the single people to clap and we were the only ones. Awkward. Then we thought we made friends with cute couple named Steve and Marsha but then he started reading the Bible to her on the bus. Deal breaker. So we got there and were ticked because the drink line was hellza long, we sat on glorified picnic tables, surrounded by couples and the "buffet" was only so so. But they did juggle fire so that was worth it. And why buy the $15 photo when you can just snap a picture of it on the bus?

Another night of Norah Jones to lull us to sleep. Good day.

Wed-Up early to walk to the car rental place. Got Coffee Bean--best decision. That stuff is flonking delicious. The line took an hour. I realized Jessica's sun in made her blonde and made fun of her for how dumb it had made her sound. She lost all ability to spell and I called her out on it. Hilarious. Finally got The Charger and hit the road. First up--flea market at the Aloha Stadium. Well first we actually drove past it because the signage was bad and then stopped at a KFC for directions. I know I'm turing into my dad because I kept gripping about how bad the sinage was in Hawaii. Aye bon. Finally found it but unfortunately everything there was crap. Nothing worth buying. We did get those fried ball things in cinnamon sugar. Mama's had better. (that's what she said) So we hit the road to go to the Dole Plantation. Hence this picture:

Delicious bbq sandwhices, dole pineapple whip (ice cream) and a lot of souvenir shopping. Should have ridden the Pineapple Express but we were too cheap. Then we headed to the North Shore. By the time we finally got there it was raining. Shoot my face off. We still got out and went down to the shore. It was really rocky and rough in the water. Rather terrifying. But I'm sure on a calmer, sunny day I would have loved it. We then said to hell with our written our Google Map and decided to figure out "the long way" back and drive along the coast. And by God we did it! And we saw a rainbow! Very beautiful and nice to just look around the whole island and see the good, the bad and the hibiscus. We loved our first catamaran ride so much that we sprung for the sunset cruise with the same company. This boat was packed and drinks were included so things got crazy. I taught an 80 year old Gerta how to pop and lock to Blame it on the Alcohol and we had her and her daughter Marsha (of no relation to the first Marsha) to sing along to Country Grammar "must be the money." It was probably the hardest I laughed the whole trip. Marsha said that I was worth the price of admission. Why thank you ma'laday. We headed back the Red Lion for a wind down and then back to the hotel. We were exhausted. Norah Jones rocked it out for our last night in that hell den.

Thur-Why do I feel like the theme is "get up early?" But get up early we did and we took the car to Sandy Beach on the east side of the island for a real sunrise experience. I've never watched the sunrise before. What have I been doing with my life? I mean, JUST LOOK AT IT:

It was absolutely breath taking. There was practically no one around. Minus that couple getting their wedding photos. But it was so peaceful and quiet. But also loud and forceful all at the same time. No wonder people buy those stupid wave sound machines to fall asleep to. There's just nothing like it. This was another particular high point. The drive was beautiful. The sun was grand. And we left our names in the sand. Beautiful. We spent the rest of the day at Waikiki soaking up the remaining sun that we could. Late lunch at Dukes. No hula pie because at that point we were full to bursting. We tried to go to a farmer's market but got lost. Caught a sunset hula show and then went to the hotel. Robert's lost our reservation for a ride back but sent a guy to get us. He told us his life story and about his daughter Destiny that'll be born in a few weeks. I think we got invited to her first birthday which is apparently like this huge blow out party on the island. I'm game. He was the best way to end the vacation. A taste of local culture. A man that has only been to the states once and it was on active duty. His whole life is this island and it only takes 2.5 hours to get from one end to the other. How truly amazing.

The red eye plane was hellish and we had a lay over in San Fran. I got back to Seattle at 9am and went straight to work because I'm more robot than human.

I'll never forget this trip, it was something special.

Vegas Time

Just ran into Joe Reilly at the Crapids airport. I'll pound a drink and get on this sketchy plane to wing my way west--where the time makes sense and there is no snow. VEGAS

Traveling Business Woman

I really hate traveling. More specifically: being an adult who has to figure out how to get to the airport and deal with adult suitcases and adult boarding passes and adult strip-downs at security. But I did it. Why? Because I'm an adult. And guys, I did it with gusto. And while I'm sitting here a good hour fifteen before my flight leaves, I'm so glad that I have enough time to be at B8, using SEATAC free wi-fi and writing to you all. Merry Christmas, you beautiful people.